Let us examine self-limiting beliefs under the following sub-headings:
1) What are they?
2) How do they work?
3) What can I do about them?
4) Possible sources
5) A proactive approach
1) What are they?
Self-limiting beliefs are those things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities.
They may be conscious or unconscious. They may be founded or unfounded e.g.:
I am fat and so no one will marry me, or,
I am not lucky; I won’t get the job.
That you are fat may well be true. That no one will marry you as a result definitely isn’t.
Some people prefer fat partners, and it’s the person inside that really makes the difference.
And luck isn’t the criterion for getting a job. You get jobs based on merit.
Limitations are actually a thing of the mind. In reality we have none.
You can do anything if you make up your mind to do it. Determination always finds a way around obstacles.
Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can…. or if you think you can’t…you’re right!”
It all depends on what you believe about yourself.
2) How do they work?
Our thoughts and beliefs colour our vision and perception of the world.
They determine our actions or inactions.
Thoughts affect feelings. Feelings affect behaviour. Behaviour produces results (or the lack of them).
It all begins with our thoughts, since we have to accept a thought for it to become a belief.
It’s been said that whatever you believe becomes your reality.
You do not believe what you see; rather you see what you already believe.
For this reason, two people facing the same situation may interpret it differently, act according to their different beliefs and experience different outcomes.
Self-limiting beliefs act like brakes on our progress.
They leave us acting forward, but believing backward.
They have been described as a malicious thermostat; you can take all the action you want, and in the right direction too.
But anytime you make progress, the thermostat pulls you back to conform to your inner negative programming.
Attempting to move forward when you have backward programming is like expecting a photocopy to be different from the original.
You’ve got to work on the original copy first, change the blue print, modify the DNA.
Your thoughts and beliefs are your programming. You cannot move beyond them.
To get out of the vicious cycle of acting forward but believing backward you’ve got to identify these malicious thermostats, and eliminate them, consciously and continuously.
Sometimes it’s a lifelong battle, but one that you can win each time.
3) What can I do about them?
Fortunately, you can get rid of self-limiting beliefs.
But first you have to identify them.
They could be lurking in the recesses of our minds without our awareness.
Talking with a friend or consulting with a coach could give you more objective feedback as to their existence.
Once you have identified them, these limiting beliefs must be challenged every time they rear their heads. You must consciously reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. There is nothing you cannot do. You simply need to find the way and follow it to conclusion.
When self-limiting thoughts are starved of attention, they wither and die.
Whatever you give attention to magnifies: whatever you do not attend to shrivels up and dies.
Jim Rohn says it aptly: “You cannot take the mild approach to the weeds in your mental garden. You have got to hate weeds enough to kill them. Weeds are not something you handle; weeds are something you devastate.”
No one is better than you are.
If others do better, it is simply because they have had more practise, more experience, and/or they know something that you don’t. And all this can be remedied.
God made us equal. It’s what we build upon His initial investment that makes the difference.
Read what the experts have said about our beliefs:
- Belief always precedes action.
-James Allen
(We won’t even attempt something unless we first believe we can accomplish it. No belief, no action, i.e. procrastination.)
- Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you can change your beliefs.
-Maxwell Maltz
- Once your thoughts reflect what you genuinely want to be, the appropriate emotions and the consequent behaviour will flow automatically. Believe it and you will see it.
-Wayne Dyer
In a nut shell, you must control the thoughts that play around in your mind. Admit and nurture only those that enhance your positive programming and move you to your goals.
4) Possible sources
Limiting beliefs could come from the things people said to us and about us while we grew up.
Now is the time to devastate these weeds.
They could also come from listening to negative people, watching/listening to negative TV and radio programs, reading negative books and magazines, and repeatedly hearing negative song lyrics.
Always be on the look-out for possible sources, not fearfully, but with the attitude to detect and devastate them.
5) A proactive approach
A better way to deal with self-limiting thoughts is to prevent them in the first place.
Examining the list of sources above will give you an idea of where their opposites (self-empowering beliefs) can be found – in the opposite directions!
If you spend time with wholesome people and material, this will build healthy, wholesome thought patterns.
A mind that is girded with strong, empowering thoughts is in fit enough condition to resist invasion by these malicious, illegal aliens.
Invest in inspirational books, seminars, CDs etc. Engage in positive self-talk or affirmations.
And just in case they slip through unnoticed, perform periodic “mind-sanitation exercises” where you do some self-evaluation. Sometimes a seminar attendance or listening to an audio program is what will alert you of this incursion.
I wish you all the best as you build a strong and healthy mind.
Go forward and do all the things you thought you could not do, because now you know that you can.
Can I hear an “Amen” somebody?!
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Copyright © 2005 Oma Edoja
2 comments:
A typical dictionary definition of hypnosis states that it is: a state that resembles sleep but that is induced by suggestion. However, anyone who has tried hypnosis (and any self respecting hypnotist) will tell you that this is a very simplistic view of the subject!
A much better description comes from the Free Online Dictionary which states that hypnosis is: an artificially induced state of consciousness, characterised by heightened suggestibility and receptivity to direction. So what does this mean and how can it be used to your advantage?
Well, the subject of hypnosis has been discussed and pondered since the late 1700s. Many explanations and theories have come and gone though science, however, has yet to supply a valid and well-established definition of how it actually happens. It's fairly unlikely that the scientific community will arrive at a definitive explanation for hypnosis in the near future either, as the untapped resources of our 'mostly' uncharted mind still remain something of a mystery.
However, the general characteristics of hypnosis are well documented. It is a trance state characterized by extreme suggestibility, deep relaxation and heightened imaginative functioning. It's not really like sleep at all, because the subject is alert the whole time. It is most often compared to daydreaming, or the feeling you get when you watch a movie or read a captivating book. You are fully conscious, but you tune out most of the outside world. Your focus is concentrated intensely on the mental processes you are experiencing - if movies didn't provide such disassociation with everyday life and put a person in a very receptive state then they would not be as popular (nor would TV advertising be as effective!). Have you ever stated that a film wasn't great because you just couldn't 'get into it'???
This works very simply; while daydream or watching a movie, an imaginary world becomes almost real to you because it fully engages your emotional responses. Such mental pursuits will on most occasions cause real emotional responses such as fear, sadness or happiness (have you ever cried at a sad movie, felt excited by a future event not yet taken place or shivered at the thought of your worst fear?).
It is widely accepted that these states are all forms of self-hypnosis. If you take this view you can easily see that you go into and out of mild hypnotic states on a daily basis - when driving home from work, washing the dishes, or even listening to a boring conversation. Although these situations produce a mental state that is very receptive to suggestion the most powerful time for self-change occurs in the trance state brought on by intentional relaxation and focusing exercises. This deep hypnosis is often compared to the relaxed mental state between wakefulness and sleep.
In this mental state, people feel uninhibited and relaxed and they release all worries and doubts that normally occupy their mind. A similar experience occurs while you are daydreaming or watching the TV. You become so involved in the onscreen antics
positive self concept
Your self-talk determines the majority of your emotional life. The words that you use to describe what is happening to you, and how you feel about external events, will trigger the emotions of happiness or unhappiness that you experience. When you see things positively and you look for the good in every situation and in each person, you will become a very positive and optimistic person. Since the quality of your life is determined by how you feel moment to moment, you should make it a habit to only think and talk about what you want and keep your mind off of what you don�t want.
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